6 Essentials for Connected Sex, Supplementation and Health Issues That Impact Your Sex Life – Episode 36

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In this week's episode...

Susanne Bratton, the Dear Abby of sex, joins us again with six essentials for connected sex. Tune in to understand herb cycling and supplementation to support our sexual health against health issues that impact our sexuality, especially as we age. Susan also helps us be better communicators in and out of the bedroom. Something we can all use!

About Susan

Susan is a champion and advocate for all who desire passionate relationships. Considered the Dear Abby of sex, Susan’s fresh approach and original ideas have helped millions of people of all ages and across the gender spectrum transform sex into passion. Married to her husband, Tim, since 1993, Susan is an author, award-winning speaker, and serial entrepreneur, who teaches passionate lovemaking techniques to her fans around the world.

 

Susan has been featured in the New York Times and on CNBC and The Today Show, as well as appearing on ABC, CBS, The CW, Fox, and on NBC as the Marriage Magician. Susan is the Chair Emeritus of The AdTech Conference. She was both CMO and a member of the board of directors for an Anthony Robbins tech startup, as well as serving on numerous boards throughout her career.

 

In 2009, Susan was honored as a Silicon Valley Woman of Influence by the Business Journal, and as a top 10 internet pioneer by Ad Age Magazine. In 2010, was bestowed the Lifetime Industry Achievement Award by DMG World Media.

 

Susan talks about, after 25 years of marriage, “I know from experience that deep passionate intimacy with my partner is priceless, a priority that tops my list of must-haves, alongside good health and the love of family and friends. I have made it my mission to aide anyone who wants the kind of lovemaking that improves with age.”

 

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Your Libido Is Your…

  • Sex drive
  • Creativity
  • Passion
  • Lust for life
  • Vitality

 

What Health Issues Impact Your Sexuality?

  • Diabetes/Pre-Diabetes
  • Neuropathy
  • Loss of sensation
  • Anorgasmia
  • Heart disease
  • Plaque in your arteries/veins
  • Not enough blood flow to your penis

 

Supplementation

It took you this long to get sick, you’re not going to get healthy in a matter of days. We’re always working on our health because we’re always trying to reverse anti-aging, we’re trying to do anti-aging, we’re trying to reverse atrophy. Everything external is a reflection of internal, including our genitalia.

  • Adaptogens/plant-based botanicals
    • Support hormones
    • Lower cortisol
    • Increase testosterone
    • Increase estrogen
    • Manage aromatase expression of over-estrogen in men
  • Supporting herbs
    • Maca – libido support
    • Cacao – polyphenols
    • Nitric oxide precursors
      • Citrulline
      • L-arginine
      • Arugula, dill, beets, spinach, cabbage
      • Supplements
    • Tribulus Terrestris
    • Fenugreek
    • Tongkat Ali
  • Give it 90 days to build in the body.
  • Bioidentical hormone replacement therapy
    • Some hormones actually help you with things like hearing, like aldosterone.
    • DHEA is a precursor to testosterone and estrogen.
    • Testosterone. Typically, men feel good in the 700-1000 mg/dl.
    • For women
      • Combination of estrogen, bioidentical estrogen, as well as progesterone.
      • Testosterone in coconut cream (used intravaginally)

 

Herb Cycling

  • Over time, your body actually adjusts to having herbal formulas, and then, they’re not as effective.
  • Each month use a different herb to see what works for you best.

 

Engorgement

  • It means being filled with blood. It means to nest.
  • When we’re born, when we’re in utero, we all start out as female. And about 16 weeks in, we get a, depending on the XY chromosome, we get a hormonal bath that turns half of us into boys. But we start out with exactly the same genital material. And that genital material turns into a penis or a vulva, a penis and scrotum or a vulva.
  • The two channels that run down the penis, the corpus cavernosum and the corpus spongiosum, those are erectile tissue. Those are the chambers that fill up with blood to give a man an erection. Those chambers are in our clitoris.
  • So, we have a clitoral head, a clitoral shaft, so we actually have a shaft, the glans is like the tip of the penis, the shaft is like the shaft of the penis. So, a woman actually achieves a clitoral erection given enough massaging or oral pleasuring or lovemaking.
  • And then, the clitoris has two little arms that drape over the entrance to the vagina. That’s called the introitus, the entrance to the vagina.
  • And then it has two plump bags that are the legs of the clitoris, that are called the vestibular bulbs, that are actually under the pubic hair on each side of the opening to the vagina.
  • And that whole structure is the erectile tissue of her clitoral structure that needs to get filled with blood.
  • Then she has a urethral sponge. We have an extruded little tube that goes down the urethral outlet, where your urine comes from your bladder and exits out of your vulva, between your clitoris and the opening to your vagina. That’s an exit. There’s a tube that runs, a fluffy tube of erectile tissue there. That’s what people call the G-spot. You can get to it from the outside, and you can get to it from the inside of the vaginal canal.
  • And then there’s another sponge, called the perineal sponge, that’s located between the rectum and the vagina, those two tubes are parallel up inside her, and there’s a spongy tissue between them. All of that’s erectile tissue.
  • You only see half of a man’s shaft. There’s 50 percent of his penile tissue that’s buried up inside him.
  • Sanskrit – Yoni is the woman’s vulva, and the Lingam is the man’s penis

 

Performance Anxiety

Once you understand anatomy and you start to really pleasure each other manually and orally, which gives you additional benefits, then it takes the focus off of intercourse, but it actually also makes intercourse even more pleasurable.

 

Polarity

  • Testosterone and estrogen
  • Masculine and feminine
  • Estrogen is femininity, it’s all over the map, it’s going a million miles, it’s got its eyes on everything, it’s sensitive, it’s delicate, it’s fussy.
  • Testosterone is straight ahead, goal-oriented, able to just be like in the zone much more easily.

 

Communication and Getting Your Needs Met

  • Passionate lovemaking is emotionally-connected lovemaking. It’s when you feel totally safe with each other, when you can surrender to your pleasure together, when you can just lock your systems together and go off into joy, that you don’t know where their pleasure starts and your pleasure ends.
  • For a woman especially, to be able to let go, she needs the conditions to be right outside the bedroom as well as inside the bedroom.
  • Women want to be totally taken care of, but they also want some freedom. Women today are very emancipated.
  • Men don’t understand how much romance is important to women, how much encouraging her, telling her you love her, taking her out for a walk in the countryside, rowing her in a boat on the lake, taking her for a hike. Moving a woman’s body moves her emotions, and she wants to feel an emotional connection to you.
  • Men, often, what they want is recreational companionship. They want touch, affection, passion. Physical touch for them is love.

 

The Platinum Rule

Treat your partner the way they want to be treated.

 

Behind Closed Doors

  • With 20 percent of the effort, you get 80 percent of the results.
  • Sexual Soulmates book
  • You put intention on being a soulmate and learning how to do it.

 

Six Essentials for Connected Sex

 

1. The Sexual Soulmate Pact

 

2. Lover’s Space

  • Creating a sacred place for you to make love with each other, for slowing down, for getting the temperature right, the sheets soft, having plenty of towels, having organic lube, a pitcher of water, lighting the candles, putting on the music that appeals to you and gets you in the mood, wearing sexy lingerie, dancing for your partner, doing all the kinds of things that are just like getting back into play and making the environment really, really nice.
  • The Soulmate Embrace

 

3. Embodied Sex

  • You’re feeling her, you’re touching her skin, you’re not even stroking her skin, you’re touching below her skin to the tissue underneath the skin to give pleasure, you’re bringing pleasure to yourself in all these wonderful nerve receptors by touching her for your own pleasure. You’re stroking each other’s whole bodies, you’re not just using friction of genitals, which is kind of like unconscious sex. This is conscious sex.

 

4. Presence

  • Presence in lovemaking is a mindset. It is just like meditation, where when you meditate, and then you start thinking about something else, and then you bring yourself back.
  • If you’re worrying about having an orgasm, you’re not going to have one.
  • Feeling Your Pleasure
    1. Letting go
    2. Sympathetic/parasympathetic nervous system toggling
    3. Orgasms actually come out of you. They bubble up out of you like a spring bubbles up out of the ground.

 

5. Polarity

  • Masculine/feminine
  • Reengage with the Soulmate Embrace
  • Create a safe container for her to let go.
  • Body shame, women as well as men.
  • Atrophy sets in when you don’t make love

 

6. Erotic Playdates

  • The more that you turn bedroom into play, the happier you are, and when you learn new things together, the beginner’s mind of meditation, that is really, really great.
  • You can learn about female ejaculation.
  • Men can learn male multiple orgasm.
  • You can learn to have expanded orgasms.

 

Finding Time for Sex

  • An hour is a quickie.
  • It takes 20-30 minutes for your genitals to get engorged.
  • You have to schedule it. You have to get a babysitter; you have to get the kids to bed early and get dinner done and make a commitment to it.
  • Set a timer if you have to go somewhere so that you can come down from the oxytocin rush.
  • Don’t make the goal about sex.

 

Deeper Dive Resources

 

Organixx Supplements

https://shop.organixx.com/search?q=sexual+health

 

Organixx Articles on Libido

http://oxprod.organixx.com/?s=libido

 

The Soulmate Embrace

https://personallifemedia.com/soulmate-embrace/

 

The Sexual Soulmate Pact

https://personallifemedia.com/sexual-soulmate-pact/

 

Susan’s Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/susanbratton/

 

Susan’s YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/c/BetterLover

 

Sexual Soulmates Book

https://amzn.to/2X8nHMd

 

My Relationship Magic

https://best.personallifemedia.com/relationship-magic-promo/?email_address=

 

Maca

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lepidium_meyenii

 

Cacao

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theobroma_cacao

 

Citrulline

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citrulline

 

L-Arginine

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arginine

 

Tribulus Terrestris

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribulus_terrestris